Lynn wanted to spend their anniversary at the symphony. Dell rolled his eyes. Lynn suggested an art gallery. Dell asked if there would be paintings with scantily clad women. A nice dinner? Dell wanted a hot dog. A play? Dell wanted to go to the basketball game. Furious, Lynn stormed away and then suddenly had an idea. They settled on Baywatch: The Musical followed by dinner from a gourmet food truck. Ah, compromise.
Jefferson had gone to the ice skating rink with the romantic notion of meeting someone special. He imagined a lovely scenario in which he was skating by A Lady just as she lost her balance and he'd reach out and save her from falling. They'd share a meaningful glance and the rest would be history. In reality, Jefferson was the one who lost his balance and had to be caught by A Lady, and instead of being asked for his phone number, he was asked to leave. In his defense, he wanted a hot chocolate to help warm him up, but he didn't have much money on him and the malt liquor was cheaper.
Things had been going so well with Ann that Russell decided it was time to introduce her to his friends. Every year, Russell and his friends attended Mardi Gras and this time, he invited Ann to join them. Russell knew it might not be the best atmosphere for getting acquainted, but he didn't anticipate just how well his friends would get to know her. Ann quickly discovered that Russell hadn't been exaggerating when he complimented her chest and that showing it off was the key to free booze, getting to the front of the bathroom line and lots and lots of beads. This delighted Ann and Russell's friends, but Russell wasn't as amused.
Charles had seen better days. After his behavior at last night's BYOB holiday party, he was pretty certain he would not be welcomed back to teach the second grade next semester. A few beers too many, and Charles began confessing his secret crush on Ethel the art teacher to anyone who would listen. Ethel wasn't too amused. Apparently, he was supposed to have brought his own book for the office-wide gift exchange. Reading had never been Charles' best subject.
Brought up in a wealthy home, Linda had grown accustomed to a life of privilege. It was no secret, then, that she married Ralph only for his money, as he had no good looks to speak of. Linda saw it as the perfect arrangement: he got a hot wife, and she didn't have to work. This didn't last long, much to Linda's dismay. After some self-improvement, Ralph felt confident enough to dump Linda. Ralph lost some weight and got a nose job; Linda would have to get a job, job.
They'd only been out on a few dates, so when Shawn called to tell Leanne that he would be coming by in a few hours to give her a Christmas present, she was too surprised to make up a proper lie about why he couldn't come over. She only had time to run to Target before he got to her apartment, but she didn't even know what to get him. Why was he giving her a present anyway? Leanne caught sight of a really cute cardigan and decided to just stay in Target and do some shopping for herself instead. Shawn was nice and all, but a new cardigan would be nicer.